AT THE END OF PAIN IS SUCCESS

Champions' TriBUne Archive

By: Freddie Gillespie

Champions' TriBUne is a special feature through Baylor Athletics that gives you the student-athlete's perspective and the chance for them to share their own story. Freddie Gillespie, a former walk-on who transferred from Division III Carleton College, earned Most Improved Player and second-team All-Big 12 honors after averaging 9.6 points, 9.0 rebounds and 2.2 blocks per game this season. The redshirt senior forward from St. Paul, Minn., earned a scholarship after his redshirt season and became a starter this year for a team that finished 26-4 overall, second in the Big 12 at 15-3 and a program-best No. 5/4 in the final polls:

"I dare you not to go home, I dare you . . . at the end of pain is success." Eric Thomas's words blared from my speaker into the uncomfortable heat that swamped the city of Waco, Texas. Like any other October day, I finished another intense, competitive four-hour practice session and laid in my bed with heavy, weak limbs and fatigued muscles. Tuning into the video of my favorite motivational speaker for the 100^th time, I waited for Thomas's familiar words to ignite the encouragement and excitement I needed to keep me from packing my bags and going back home to Minnesota.

As a Division III walk-on from Carleton College, I was thrilled to transition to Baylor University and enlivened by the opportunity to pursue basketball at a much more competitive level. With such a distinctive changeover, I anticipated coming across various obstacles in my new journey, and originally embraced the idea of a new challenge if it meant I was one step closer to reaching my goal. Very quickly, this appetite and gusto disappeared between the cracks of discouraging and disheartening performances.

So frequently, I turned the ball over, dropped passes, or had my shots blocked. My defense was not any better. I was consistently dunked on, blown by, or I just fouled. To navigate this harsh reality, my days filled with tireless hours spent at the gym and on the court. I dedicated my early mornings, late nights and little free time to correcting my weak spots and strengthening the good ones. On average, I worked two hours before practice and an hour after practice, intent and committed to playing better.

The grueling daily routine seemed to manifest nothing but stronger relationships with the basketball and a jump rope. I was missing the on-court production and consistently disappointed and confused at the lack of even marginal improvements. Why was my labor failing to pay off? Some days, my performances were entirely riddled with errors that left me feeling dejected and frustrated, feelings eventually exacerbated by my reality off the court.

A thousand miles away from my home, closest friends and family left me lonely for my first few months at Baylor. Becoming acclimated and welcomed to a team coming off a Sweet 16 appearance and No. 1 national rank proved to be a unique feat that I feared I would not conquer. I was not highly recruited. I did not play against them in high school or AAU, nor was I invited to Adidas or Nike camps. I talked, walked and behaved so distinctly different from my peers that I became the center of many hurtful jokes I attempted to take in stride. The unbearable concoction of poor on-court production and off-court loneliness proved my desire to leave Baylor. Truthfully, I was miserable.

Freddie Gillespie

"I dare you not to go home. . . ." The words continue to echo in my head, even though the video has long stopped playing; however, I have committed the entire speech to memory. Lying in my bed again after yet another difficult practice, I heard a knock on the door and was shocked that someone stopped by my apartment. I opened the door to find my mom standing in front of me with a huge smile. Her visit became my turning point.

Over the next few days of her visit, I voiced all my frustration. For hours, I vented profusely on how my desire and dream to be a great basketball player remained overwhelmed by how forlorn and hopeless I felt about my experience thus far. In my moments of emotional despair and mental turmoil, my mother provided much-needed support and encouragement. She confirmed that at least one person believed in me, even if many days I did not and could not believe in myself.

My mother reassured me home was always an option, but stated, "I think you want to succeed, more than you want to go home." Referencing words spoken by Blake Griffin in a commercial we heard when I was younger, she pushed me to "fall in love with the process of becoming great."

Freddie Gillespie

I learned to appreciate every aspect of the process – the good and the bad. I loved being dunked on because it means I'm trying to block everything, I loved missing shots because it means I am not afraid to take them. I loved being yelled at by the coaches because it means they believe I can give more. I love bad practices because that makes me hungrier for a good one. I love doing extra workouts even when I did not see results because I truly love the game and want to be great at playing. A change in perspective resulted in noticeable differences. Bad practices transformed into good practices, good practices morphed to even better ones.

My first year at Baylor, I learned to love the game and grew completely infatuated with watching film, going to practice, lifting weights and being coached. The empty gyms and packed arenas that once felt foreign are now commonplace and welcoming. This newfound devotion helped me maneuver through my redshirt year, a loss against Texas Southern and progress from sitting on the bench to starting. A love and trust in the process affirmed that the obstacles I face will bear fruitful results that will ultimately work for my good and in my favor.

"I dare you not to go home, I dare you." Dare accepted.

Freddie Gillespie

Previous Champions' TriBUne Features
Women's Track & Field - Tuesdi Tidwell (March 20, 2020)
Women's Basketball - Moon Ursin (March 5, 2020)
Men's Track & Field - Cole Hardan (Feb. 27, 2020)
Volleyball - Shelly Stafford (Jan. 30, 2020)
Men's Golf - Mike McGraw (Jan. 3, 2020)
Volleyball - Yossiana Pressley (Dec. 5, 2019)
Baseball - Nick Loftin (Nov. 21, 2019)
Men's Cross Country - Ryan Day (Nov. 1, 2019)
Women's Cross Country - Lindsay Walton (Oct. 15, 2019)
Men's Basketball - Obim Okeke (Oct. 1, 2019)
Volleyball - Gia Milana (Sept. 17, 2019)
Soccer - Raegan Padgett (Sept. 5, 2019)
Football - Sam Tecklenburg (Aug. 29, 2019)
Men's Golf - Cooper Dossey (July 11, 2019)
Baseball - Richard Cunningham (June 27, 2019)
Men's Tennis - Jimmy Bendeck (June 14, 2019)
Baseball - Shea Langeliers (May 30, 2019)
Women's Track & Field - Kiana Horton (May 22, 2019)
Men's Golf - Garrett May (May 9, 2019)
Women's Golf - Maria Vesga (May 2, 2019)
Acrobatics & Tumbling - Camryn Bryant (April 25, 2019)
Equestrian - Shannon Hogue (April 16, 2019)
Women's Tennis - Angelina Shakhraichuk (April 9, 2019)
Women's Basketball - Lauren Cox (March 22, 2019)
Men's Track & Field - Wil London (March 7, 2019)
Men's Basketball - Jake Lindsey (March 4, 2019)
Softball - Nicky Dawson (Feb. 21, 2019)
Baseball - Josh Bissonette (Feb. 14, 2019)
Men's Tennis - Will Little (Jan. 31, 2019)
Men's Basketball - King McClure (Jan. 17, 2019)
Women's Basketball - Chloe Jackson (Jan. 3, 2019)
Football - Blake Blackmar (Dec. 13, 2018)
Volleyball - Braya Hunt (Nov. 29, 2018)
Soccer - Jackie Crowther (Nov. 16, 2018)
Women's Cross Country - Alison Andrews-Paul (Nov. 8, 2018)
Football- Ira Lewis (Nov. 6, 2018)

AT THE END OF PAIN IS SUCCESS

Players Mentioned

Freddie Gillespie

Shea Langeliers

Will Little

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AT THE END OF PAIN IS SUCCESS

Players Mentioned

Freddie Gillespie

Shea Langeliers

Will Little

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