THE BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY
9/22/2022 10:34:00 AM | Soccer, Champions' TriBUne
Through Trials, I Realized That I Am Not the Author of My Story
THE BEAUTIFUL JOURNEYThrough Trials, I Realized That I Am Not the Author of My Story
By: Marissa Gray
Champions' TriBUne is a special feature through Baylor Athletics that gives you the student-athlete's perspective and the chance for them to share their own story. Marissa Gray, a senior from Carrollton, Texas, missed the two previous seasons with a knee injury. As a freshman in 2019, she appeared in all 19 matches and started 10 as a defender, tallying one assist and her first career goal against Iowa State. Selected to the Big 12 Commissioner's Honor Roll four times, Marissa is majoring in kinesiology pre-physical therapy and plans to go through physical therapy school. Baylor soccer (2-4-2) opens Big 12 play against Oklahoma (5-2-2) at 7 p.m. Friday at Betty Lou Mays Field in the Bears' "GO GOLD" game:
As I enter the start of my senior year, I can't even begin to piece together the beautiful masterpiece of God's plan that was orchestrated in my life coming here. If someone had told the young 16-year-old Marissa that had just committed to Baylor that my time at Baylor would end up like this, I would have never believed them. Yet, here I am, regretting nothing. I'm just thankful for the ups and downs that all add to the beautiful journey.
I always knew that Baylor was a Christian university and a place to grow in your faith, but that was never really a major push for me to come here. I put Jesus on the backburner and solely focused on soccer. My overall time here at Baylor is not at all what I expected, but by the grace of God and His strength alone, I was able to overcome obstacles I never thought I could.
If I had to use a word to sum up my time here at Baylor, it would be unknown. The definition of unknown states: not known; not within the range of one's knowledge, experience or understanding; strange; unfamiliar. Even at the start of my freshman year, somehow in the starting lineup because of injuries among my teammates, everything was unknown to me. This idea of the unknown became evident to me in January 2020.
January 17, 2020, was the day of my scope. I had never had surgery and had no idea what to expect. Recovery was supposed to be short, ultimately a month and a half, and I would be back on the field in no time. Little did I know that "no time" would calculate up to approximately 761 days of not being on the field.
A couple weeks after my surgery, I gave my life to Jesus at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) camp on a random weekend in February. Thanks to my surgery, this was the perfect opportunity to live out my faith daily. Not knowing what was next in the plan whatsoever, I was just simply following Jesus closely, knowing He's got it all handled. At times, there was doubt. To be honest, a lot of times there was doubt. Questions would spiral in my head, mainly back to the point if I would ever play soccer again. Yet, as I rested my identity in Christ rather than soccer, I was able to find true strength and peace through the uncertainty. Even though it looked impossible to step on the field again, we serve a God who can turn the impossible into possible.
Months came to pass of not playing soccer, following hard conversations of redshirting, because I knew there was no way I would be back on the field to play for the 2020 season. At that point in the recovery process, I had ruled out ever coming back to soccer due to the condition of my leg and the fact that there was no progress made whatsoever.
Fast forward to almost a year later in 2021, I'm constantly doing rehab with my trainer, Kristen Bartiss. She was determined to get me back on the field with the help of BFR (blood flow restriction therapy) and a bone stimulator, which allowed me to start having small increments of progress on my knee. At this point, I was able to start running on the AlterG treadmill and see the small progression of muscle gain in my left leg. Although I was making progress, I knew playing the 2021 season was not going to happen, either. Another year of sitting out was a tough pill to swallow. There were countless doctor visits, with even harder conversations about medically retiring and having to step away from something I had done for the past 17 years of my life. This was not something I would have ever expected to be brought up, but obviously God had other plans.
In the spring of 2022, things started to take a turn for the better. I was running on the grass this time around, and I could finally begin to slowly get into drills with no contact. On January 31, I finally passed my functional test a. That meant that I could progress my way into contact, which eventually meant playing again. Tears of joy streamed down my face, because I never thought I was going to be able to step on the field again. But, by the grace of God, I had the opportunity once again to lace up my cleats and give soccer another chance.
The time came for the first spring game. To be completely honest, I was extremely fearful to step foot on the field again, not knowing how my knee would react to playing and making tackles against people who aren't my own teammates. I remember being told that I would only play for around 10-15 minutes since it was my first game back. Yet, I ended up playing almost 50 minutes and even scored a goal! The support from all my teammates, coaches and parents was insane. This was such a huge moment and milestone that felt like forever to get to. I couldn't thank God enough and stand in awe of his faithfulness of how he was by my side through the valley and the mountaintops.
As I head into my senior season, I can boldly say now with confidence that if it weren't for the Lord's strength and faithfulness, I would have never been able to overcome not playing soccer for two years because of the complications due to the surgery. Whatever I had planned coming into Baylor, and how I thought things were going to go, ended up being the complete opposite. A verse that reigns true throughout my whole time at Baylor is Proverbs 16:9 – "In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."
Through different trials in my time here at Baylor, I have realized that I am not the author of my story. As much as I wish I could be, the true author of my story is far wiser and much more powerful than I could ever be, even in the unknown.
Previous Champions' TriBUne Features:
Cross Country – Taylor Whitfield (Aug. 31, 2022)
Volleyball – Lauren Harrison (Aug. 18, 2022)
Acrobatics & Tumbling – Katie Shiffer (June 23, 2022)
Men's Tennis – Sven Lah (May 5, 2022)
Baseball - Nolan Rodriguez (Apr. 28, 2022)
Equestrian - Caroline Fuller (Apr. 14, 2022)
Men's Tennis - Matias Soto (Mar. 17, 2022)
Soccer - Ally Henderson-Ashkinos (Mar. 3, 2022)
Volleyball - Callie Williams (Nov. 4, 2021)
Soccer - Jennifer Wandt (Oct. 14, 2021)
Softball - Lou Gilbert (Aug. 5, 2021)
Women's Track & Field - Aaliyah Miller (May 27, 2021)
Equestrian - Madaline Callaway (May 20, 2021)
Acrobatics & Tumbling - DayAndrea Thompson (May 13, 2021)
Men's Tennis - Constantin Frantzen (May 6, 2021)
Softball - Sidney Holman-Mansell (April 8, 2021)
Women's Golf - Gurleen Kaur (March 25, 2021)
Baseball - Andy Thomas (March 4, 2021)
Men's Tennis - Charlie Broom (Feb. 11, 2021)
Volleyball - Marieke van der Mark (Dec. 3, 2020)
Football - Raleigh Texada (Nov. 12, 2020)
Men's Cross Country - Ryan Hodge (Oct. 29, 2020)
Women's Cross Country - Sarah Antrich (Oct. 15, 2020)
Volleyball - Hannah Sedwick (Oct. 1, 2020)
Soccer - Maddie Algya (Sept. 10, 2020)
Men's Basketball - Freddie Gillespie (March 26, 2020)
Women's Track & Field - Tuesdi Tidwell (March 20, 2020)
Women's Basketball - Moon Ursin (March 5, 2020)
Men's Track & Field - Cole Hardan (Feb. 27, 2020)
Volleyball - Shelly Stafford (Jan. 30, 2020)
Men's Golf - Mike McGraw (Jan. 3, 2020)
Volleyball - Yossiana Pressley (Dec. 5, 2019)
Baseball - Nick Loftin (Nov. 21, 2019)
Men's Cross Country - Ryan Day (Nov. 1, 2019)
Women's Cross Country - Lindsay Walton (Oct. 15, 2019)
Men's Basketball - Obim Okeke (Oct. 1, 2019)
Volleyball - Gia Milana (Sept. 17, 2019)
Soccer - Raegan Padgett (Sept. 5, 2019)
Football - Sam Tecklenburg (Aug. 29, 2019)
Men's Golf - Cooper Dossey (July 11, 2019)
Baseball - Richard Cunningham (June 27, 2019)
Men's Tennis - Jimmy Bendeck (June 14, 2019)
Baseball - Shea Langeliers (May 30, 2019)
Women's Track & Field - Kiana Horton (May 22, 2019)
Men's Golf - Garrett May (May 9, 2019)
Women's Golf - Maria Vesga (May 2, 2019)
Acrobatics & Tumbling - Camryn Bryant (April 25, 2019)
Equestrian - Shannon Hogue (April 16, 2019)
Women's Tennis - Angelina Shakhraichuk (April 9, 2019)
Women's Basketball - Lauren Cox (March 22, 2019)
Men's Track & Field - Wil London (March 7, 2019)
Men's Basketball - Jake Lindsey (March 4, 2019)
Softball - Nicky Dawson (Feb. 21, 2019)
Baseball - Josh Bissonette (Feb. 14, 2019)
Men's Tennis - Will Little (Jan. 31, 2019)
Men's Basketball - King McClure (Jan. 17, 2019)
Women's Basketball - Chloe Jackson (Jan. 3, 2019)
Football - Blake Blackmar (Dec. 13, 2018)
Volleyball - Braya Hunt (Nov. 29, 2018)
Soccer - Jackie Crowther (Nov. 16, 2018)
Women's Cross Country - Alison Andrews-Paul (Nov. 8, 2018)
Football - Ira Lewis (Nov. 6, 2018)
Players Mentioned
C/1B
/ Baseball
/ Men's Tennis
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